Khullar() ...

Shrouded in the nebulous mists of time, legend and folklore, the origin of the epoch making Khullar() function is something that has bestirred my imagination to the murkiest of its depths, and it is in the quest for the progenitor of this programming language function that I seek emotional solace for my turbulent umbra and alleviation of the fact that I am a blemish in the name of Computer Science Engineering. Many a futile year have I spent, in vain, in search of the identity of this persona, who, though illusive, could have been so dynamic and inspiring enough to make programmers, lang syne, incorporate it into their scheme of things, which has made it the quintessential part of programming, that it is today. Now in the twilight of my life spent in search for the origin of Khullar() , I concede that the elusiveness of the source has indeed vanquished me, but for the future generation, I leave behind all knowledge I have gathered, so that they may carry on from where I have left off.

The strongest and by far the most useful clue speaks of a apocryphal, Goliath-like individual named Sumeet (authenticity of this source yet to be confirmed) , who lived sometime in the era 3000 B.C to 2007 A.D ( exact time period yet to be confirmed) , and whose very existence shook the foundations of neanderthal, cro-magnonic, ancient, dark-age, industrial-age, colonial-age, modern, post-modern, communist and democratic civilizations. His body was said to put any modern day athlete to shame; his decisiveness in battle, politics, and governance made his compatriots wonder; his sexual prowess, especially his capability of achieving 10 trillion orgasms a day made every woman's flesh lust for his gift; but the most astounding quality of this man, was his foresightedness and his ability to plan out the future to the last quantum of time. Such was the aura of wonder and charismatic qualities of this legend, that early day programmers, bestowed upon his the title of God-King and, in his honour, created the one function, to rule them all, the one function to find them, the one function to hash-join them all, and in the darkness merge-sort them. Thus, spake the legends, was born the ONE function, the function which could move mountains; the function which made dogs flee, whining, tails between their legs, the one function that created and destroyed civilizations ... the Khullar() function.

More facts in support of this theory have been recently excavated at an ancient, mystical and possible pagan community on Orkut labelled "Fraud Sumeet Khullars", a name in obvious honour of this demi-godly individual. Interestingly, an entire thread has been started in reverence of the sacred name of Khullar. Numerous cryptic program code snippets, invoking the godly Khullar() function have been found, going insofar as to suggest that Sumeet though a demi-god, was an entity of plasmatic qualities with the mysterious ability to transgress from one form of being to another ("I am a khullar(), you are a khullar(), everyone is a khullar()" is one of the sayings in the thread).

More than enough bullshit for one night ... I'm sleepy, tired, mentally taxed, relieved, depressed, regretful, and saturated so its best that I turn in and be done with bullshitting around!